Prison advice from a dude who did it.

I'm a white-collar offender who spent time in federal prison. The statute of limitations of my feelings has not run out, so I made this.

I've been through it all: I did time in jail pre-trial, surrendered to the marshalls, was cuffed on con-air, did a month in the SHU, lost access to my TRULINCS, had my FSA fucked up, almost crashed out of a halfway house, did house arrest, and I'm now on supervised release. The system isn't theoretical to me. I still report to it.

I answer questions for free. and write guides on how a given prison operates, how to thrive in the joint, and a whole lot more more to try to make the world's shittiest experience somewhat bearable. Paid consults exist for people who need more than an answer. Most people don't.

Answers are free

Case summary

Time served: Federal camp, white collar
Current status: Supervised release
Questions: Free, answered by email
Consults: A few slots a month

Start here

Exhibit A

Which side of this are you on?

The guides split two ways, because the two situations have almost nothing in common. The person going has a defined period to survive. The person staying has an undefined one, and nobody is checking on them. Each side gets a ten-minute version, a searchable FAQ, and the long version.

For the one going in

Your name is on the docket

The checklists, around 150 answered questions, and four guides: before you go in, while you're in, doing time at a low, and getting out.

For the one waiting

Somebody you love is going

The family checklists, over a hundred answered questions, and a twelve-part guide to mail, visiting, money, and the release date.

The library

Exhibit B

Read first. Ask second.

Half of what lands in my inbox is already answered on this site. Calculators that do the sentencing math, a guide for every facility (and more coming), the Bureau's rulebook translated into regular talk.

Calculator

Time calculator

The only thorough calculator for how long they'll actually serve: good conduct time, FSA credits, jail credit.

Calculator

PATTERN calculator

The risk score that decides whether FSA credits apply at all. Run it against the BOP's own internal system.

Guides

The facility guide

How each prison actually runs internally, and tips on the general inmate culture, with honest unknowns.

Support groups

The Facebook groups run by spouses and moms, by facility. The best intel about any specific prison lives here.

Rulebook

Program statements

The BOP's own rulebook translated into regular, boring, real-human speak, so anyone can understand.

Reference

The glossary

Talk the talk so you can walk the walk, and learn from A&O to UDC so you can speak the lingo.

Browse all the resources

For those who need more

Exhibit C

Two ways to get answers.

Most everything is already here, but you may have more questions. In the case you do, there's two ways to get answers.

For free

Option one

Ask me anything

You email a question. I answer it. That's it.

Ask anything and I'll answer it. No form, no phone call, no money.
Answers come from a dude who did it, not from a subscription to a legal database or lawyer.
I don't provide legal advice for I am not a lawyer. If I don't know, I'll tell you I don't know. That's rarer in this industry than you'd hope.

Again, I don't offer legal advice. I'm not a lawyer and won't pretend.

Ask a question

Limited Basis

Option two

Book a consult

Scheduled time, Zoom, and my full attention.

For loved ones: I'll provide tips and tricks that you won't ever get on a public website.
An app for managing character references for sentencing, halfway house, etc. if applicable.
Sentencing prep and PSR review, before that document follows you around for a decade.
Self-surrender planning: what to bring, what happens, what to tell people.
Designation, RDAP, First Step Act credits, halfway house strategy.

A few slots a month. I have a day job. When they're gone, they're gone, but the free lane stays open.

How consults work

The difference, plainly: free gets you an answer. Paid gets you a plan. Nobody gets upsold. If your question has a two-paragraph answer, I'm not going to stretch it into an invoice.

Questions from the inside

Exhibit D

Your loved one can ask me directly, through TRULINCS.

Your loved one can email me from TRULINCS using a dedicated email address to avoid problems at the facility. You can optionally receive a copy of every email unless your loved one asks me to keep one private (their privacy comes first, sorry). The same account manages your lockdown alerts.

Sign in to Inside Tools The TRULINCS rules, annotated

Who's answering

Exhibit E

Not an expert. An alumnus.

I'm not a former prosecutor, a retired BOP employee, or a "federal prison expert" with a podcast. I served my time at a federal camp, did the house arrest, and I still report to the system, because supervised release doesn't end when you start a website.

I'm also not a lawyer, and nothing here is legal advice. What I have is the stuff lawyers can't tell you because they've never been inside: what the first week feels like, what to buy at commissary, what actually earns FSA credits, which rules get enforced and which ones are theater.

While you're here: read who I work best with, what "consultants" selling legal work are actually selling, and why nobody can get you into the facility of your choice. Even if you never email me, don't pay those people.

Pass it on

If this helped, it'll help someone else's family too.